WHAT IS SELF – LOVE? [ GOOD VIBES GOOD LIFE ]

To achieve a sense of peace, we need balance: balance between work and play, between action and Patience, spending and saving, laughter and seriousness, leaving and staying. Failing to achieve a balance across every area of your life can leave you feeling exhausted, among many other unpleasant emotions, such as guilt.

Here’s an example of balancing action and patience. If you’re the project leader of a final – year University assignment and you catch a team member who you like on social media instead of helping your team, you may allow it to slide. If they do it on multiple occasions and you notice their productivity slipping, you may warn them that if it persists, you’ll have to report them to your course leader. If they then choose to ignore you and continue their behaviour, would you feel guilty about taking further action?

If you’re a kind and compassionate human being, you may fear hurting their feelings and getting them in trouble. By reporting them to the course leader, they may have to face severe consequences that affect their final grade and that might have implications on their future. However, they’re disrespecting you and ignoring your warning. You may feel like they’re taking your kindness for granted. And you might worry that other project members will be disheartened if they see your lenience as favouritism.

In this instance, if you’re kind and honest, and follow a fair process, you needn’t feel guilty for taking further action.

It’s important to recognize that it’s not unjust to let go of those who show no concern for you.

As project leader, you can remember that you tried your best and unfortunately, your friend chose not to respond. If you don’t take action, you risk losing your inner peace, the respect of your team and harming your own final grade.

By taking a balanced approach, you gcan feel more at ease and avoid any bad feelings, such as guilt. You demonstrate both action and patience. You can show that you’re Understanding and forgiving, 

self – love is the balance between accepting yourself as you are while knowing you deserve better, and then working towards it. 

and also firm and authoritative. The chances are that even if this student is upset by your decision, they will still respect you for giving them a chance.

So, what does this have to do with self – love? Well, the phrase ‘self-love’ is often misunderstood. Self-love encourages acceptance, but  many people use this as an excuse to remain unchallenged. In fact, self – love consists of two essential elements that must be balanced if one wishes to live a harmonious life.

The first element encourages unconditional love towards yourself. The focus is on mindset. The truth is, you won’t love yourself more if, for example, you lose or gain weight, or undergo cosmetic surgery. You may feel more confident, sure. But true self – love is when you appreciate where you are and who you are, regardless of any transformation you aspire to.

The second element encourages growth, and the focus is on taking action. Improving yourself and your life is also self-love because it means you recognize that you deserve more than settling for mediocrity.

When it comes to self – love, think about what it means to love others unconditionally. For example, your partner may have annoying habits, but this doesn’t mean you love them any less. You accept them as they are, and sometimes even learn from their flaws. You also want what’s best for them. Therefore, if a particular habit were affected their health, you’d support them in making positive changes. This demonstrates your unconditional love for them. You don’t judge them harshly but you do want them to be the best version of themselves –  for their own sake. Self – love is about applying this to yourself: having your own best interests at heart.

True self – love can be present in anything that adds value to your life, from your diet to your spiritual rituals or the way you interact within your personal relationships. And, of course, a significant aspect of self – love is acceptance: being content with who you are, as you are. As a result, self – love is empowerment and liberation.

An understanding of self – love allows us to find balance between mindset and action. Without balance we’ll regularly stumble, fall and feel lost. When you love yourself, life will begin to love you back.